disintegrate

rate

woo. i haf edited my blog. haha. aniwae, i couldnt log on to ebloggy so i decided to change server. cos someone say tat blog of mine got virus. oh well, nevermind. hmms. so full now. ate noodles. i ate one bite of the egg and i feel lyk vomitting. i duno y. i jus dun seem to eat this few days. i mean i dun eat too much. maybe it's good. haha.

right now, my tamagotchi is mating. oh boy! gave birth to girl.=\ break my record. it has been boy for the past few generations. hmm, nvm ba.

haha. my eyes veri pain. duno why. right eye. den when tears fall hor. my left eyes is normal. but my right eye doesnt seem to realli shed tears. it will accumulate to a ball of tears and stay there. nvr roll down. maybe cry too much this week. haha. duno larhs.

hmms. relationship has been falling. chances and chances and chances. which of it is the last? when can i ever trust this relationship again? i duno. tok to him yesterday lyk some stranger. he doesnt seem lyk he wanna tok to mi. it jus seem so. i aint sure. he can name onli 2 promises. nvm ba. but all those promises were lyk the ones i told him. nvm ba. girls are always more chi qin. todae gonna be lonely. not meeting him. altho realli wan to. how i wish he jus pop up. u knoe? surprises... nahz. *stop dreaming* tats no reality. sometyms i realli somehow or rather hope he appears infront of mi everytym we quarrel. but it doesnt seem so. jus lyk appears infront of mi without mi knowing. i'd be glad. but again, it's not reality. i've realli been day dreaming alort lately. hmms. its time i face reality yea. but reality is always cruel. sighs. y y y. y am i so stuck. alortsa quarrels this and last months. maybe it's due to my naiveness and my immaturity. ok, wad's the diff? hmmz. maybe i dun think well. i am still in a childish world of mine which i need time to get out of. can he even prove to mi tat the choice of mine of accepting him again is the right choice? sighs. i dun wan ani bear or ani books from him. they arent important to mi animore. can i even trust him again? haiz. wad can he do to make mi trust him? i always think that there's a third party. maybe i am too sensitive. sighs. perhaps it's not maybe. i AM sensitive. sighs. i jus wan assurance. but i dun think i will be assured. i think i will still anihow think. arhs.. wadever. haiz. when can i smile delightfully.. not the physical smile. but the emotional smile. sighs. bragging rubbish again. nvm ba. i feel lyk going out on my own todae. but no one go with mi. sighs.

Emily jus had her operation yesterday. thank god its a success. or else i would be alone. i think i will treat her to ice cream since the onli thing she can eat is ice cream. hehe. buy strawberry one. haha. it's sweet!

hmms. YAWNS. i even wonder if anione would actually read this blog of mine and actually tag along. hmms. i wish they would. or else the cbox there is for shit. LOLs. going off. bye.

i know the one i love is u. i knoe the one i need is u. but, can u show mi the light once again? will u hold my hands and say u love mi jus lyk before?