disintegrate

rate

er. say.. todae got back results.. (: pretty cool. haha. made a lil improvements here and there. kinda proud of myself.. (:

maths
hmml.. upgraded myself by a grade. Mrs.Yap made comment on everyone and mine was tat i had lil improvements. and she wans mi to work hard! oh well, i will. (: i haf worked out my schedule alr. hehe. i hope i will stick to it tho. no empty promises this time round. haha!

Physics.
well, flunk-ed it. my pract was hella shit. chem nid 0.5 more marks. haha! ironic.. hehe! hmm. the phy pract was kinda diff. i didnt know wad was it talking abt. haha! but... i dun think cathode ray would be out for pract this yr. haha! i hope it'd be pendulum.. ah.... interesting!

chinese
haha. this is the onli sub i was confident in. i knew i wouldnt fail it. haha!! i got 94/150.. haha! which is kinda lyk a B4. a grade higher than my O''s.. but... maybe O is much more diff or smth.. but i found it to be the same cos i didnt study for both o's and prelims. haha! yea!!

i add on a tagboard on my blog. but gees. i guess no one will ever tag it. haha! jus put there for show. LOLs!

er. i duno. but i cant stand u not listening to wadeva i said when u tell mi to say smth. but, who cares! i told u i si xin alr. and it wun be alive. no more! and i bet u didnt buy mi ani stuffs from there and u didnt even miss mi.

3 2 more days before the love of my life returns...

oh yea. i am here. lemme say wad i did todae. er. came bak from school. ok.. nvm. lemme start frm sch. abt this fucking bitch. hehe. old virgin?? nono. a divorce b4... maybe fucked b4 oso duno. wahaha! -grins

ok.. school. went sch as usual. BUT I TOOK BUS TODAY!! wohoo. missed the feeling of bus. i feel good. lalalala! ok. den met steph on the bus so we went to the hall after i bought my sandwich. den we went up and to our ASTONISHMENT, the tables and chairs were kept. so... being good lil students, we went up to class,. den someone say in prayer hub. oh well. great! it's fucking cooling and wan us in the air con room? damn them! so ok, morning assembly. bla bla bla. mr. Ang misunderstood 1/8. poor souls... yea! den er.. he was saying how much an embarrassment we r to the sch. spoiling public property and all.. well.. should i say it is NORMAL for our students to do tat? nahz. perhaps they're notti. oh well.. HECK. den... we went to prayer hub. cos there were some 4/4 students who take comb sci. pretty clever ah they all. go in den book their space. den my class hafta seperate and sit with the 4/2. damn it. and i was the last.. so....................... we had to take some time to settle down cos we hafta let those guys to sit first b4 we know where we sit. and 4/2 were also settling down. HELLO!!!! none of our business tat we cant settle down fast ok. we would make noise, OF COURSE!! we were asking for seats!!! and when we sat down, we need to adjust. and tat old blackie told us to put bag. ok.. so we go put and retrieved our stuff. duh!! we would make noise again mah. cos maybe ppl asking wad to take or wadever. and when we were settling down, SHE SCOLDED US!! FUCKING SCOLD US!! say our prelims result very bad la. this and tat. our attitude prob. we finding bf and gf. we working. say we r provided for and we dun nid work. HELLO! there are mani poor souls there u dun know blackie!!! and they nid to earn to get wad they deserve. u also work ur way up to a teacher wad. duh! come on! get a life men. and yea. i was sleeping when she gave her HONOURABLE SPPECH. how nice of mi. den aft sch went and find mrs. Rjkm and see how she is doing. den went outta sch. when walking the long aisle, the bus came! and mi n si hui ran frantically for the bus. and wtf! it seems so near but it is so darn far! and when we're going to reach. tat fucking bus driver closed the fucking bus's door. and yea. how gr8t! but there were other auntieS running for it. so, he had to open. yea!

den met Fiona at 11. yea! we shop-ed till we drop. haha. yea! went bugis den ate hao jian. altho it was terrible.. and EXPENSIVE. haaha! den this promoter came and said she is from the I and U weekly. wtf. but i saw her at causeway pt b4. and i knew she was a lie can! den we didnt show interest. but luckily. the management came and CHASED her away. great!! we thanked him and he was veri funny la. haha! and the lady seem so angry... GOOD FOR HER! den bought quite a no. of things. haha! and i wan the mickey earing. yea! i have updated my wishlist. perhaps u all can go take a look. we went to parco for neos, hereen for neos again.. but didnt take cos cant bear to leave our funds.. den bough Cass's shoelace for her bf and rubber bands for tying hair. i tot of buying something for dear when he comes bak. yea! haha. den went taka to buy pie and shop a lil while. den went home.. hehe..

on the way bak, realli miss him loads. wish he can come bak soon. haha!! i mean.. at least give mi a miss call i will also happy. at least i know he is fine....

miss ya dear!!

muackss

he is leaving tmr. so yea.. sad.. i didnt mean to quarrel with him... but............ we still quarreled. i think he thinks tat i am reluctant to let him go or something. and i am pissing him off. wadeva the reason, i dun wanna know.. GET A LIFE!

even tho it brks my heart to know we'll be so far apart. i love u too much to make u stay. baby fly away...

yea. i'm feeling so sad now. i duno how to desribe tho.. jus lyk... lonely? i duno. yeps. called for a brk up again.. i was willing to let go.. but something held mi bak. this is the duno how mani times alr.. i feel lyk i am being used.. i duno if it's the right term to use.. but.... i jus feel sad and neglected.. i tried to forget abt the feeling.. but i jus dun seem to. i jus keep on thinking of the things we did together and all.. knowing tat he'll not be with mi one da realli tarnishes my dream. i feel so weak now tho... i hands are trembling. perhaps ppl out there might be thinking i'm so fake. oh, wadever. i cant be bothered with u all ani longer.

i duno why.. but i'm realli willing to let go. but... something jus hold mi bak. i wanna be strong.. but.. i duno.. i feel lyk i'm wasting my time on this whole thing. perhaps he wun understand how i feel. i wanna tell him.. but... i jus couldnt. he wouldnt listen. i'll get scolded. it goes over and over again. maybe some other girls fit him better. i duno. i know crying isnt a solution.. but i haf no one to confide to or something... so i'll confide in my tears. i duno. i jus seem to give up on everything alr. lyk TOTALLY. no point living on i guess. perhaps i'm still a hindrance.

i'm actually wating for him to tok to mi. can u imagine...... sighs..i guess i'm going out to straighten my thoughts later.. having class later also. but on second thought... i'd rather stay home to study..

is he actually so important to mi?
is it him or mi who cant straighten our own thoughts?