disintegrate

rate

oh well.. i am bak again... i shall update things tat happened for the past few days...

on saturday..
mi and dear went to town.. to buy xmas gift.. spend onli lyk $20+ for 2 ppl's gift.. haven buy jude's.. hiak!! den went to the funeral.. den jus nice they start the prayers alr.. den my grandma suppose to bring mi the funeral clothings. den she ended up talking talking.. den nvr.. zzz!! den prayers start liao she blame mi for not praying. wad the..... den dear went to the funeral also. den he is the attention grabber.. wahaha! there's one table of my aunties and uncles and grand aunties and grand uncles.. they were looking. lol. the whole table literally stared at him. i sense trouble. so i didnt call them. cos they will surely grumble and nag. blabber blabber. but my grandpa was the cutest. haha! he asked mi isst tat i brought my bf along. den i was lyk.. ya. den he turned to my bf and asked him.. why u nvr call mi? WAHAHAH!!! i almost laughed my ass off men. BAHAHAHA!!! den 2 round of prayers.. dear left before supper.. den we had prayers again. den we left..

on sunday
i woke up early to go to church. 7.30am service. yawns!! and my back was fucking pain. sighs... den later i went home and slept lyk a pig.. from 10 to 1+ den i woke up.. den my sis even returned from work alr!!! den we bathed. packed. left for the funeral.. and i was suppose to stay over at the wake to look after everything. den after duno how mani rounds of prayers... everybody left and my 2 sis and i, my cousin, my uncle and his wife, my grandma and another uncle stayed over to keep watch. den we ordered macdonalds delivery. damn funny!! hahaha! the person on the line asked for my unti number. den i was lyk it's at the void deck. den she told us 1.5hrs. ok. den we waited and waited....... den my eldest uncle ask.. y so long haven come? den we were lyk.. oh, they say nid 1h30min. den he say.. here got macdonalds wad. why mus delivery.. den... -silence- everybody laugheD!!! hahaha! so retarded. and the most ironic thing is tat the macdonald opens 24hrs. how pathetic!!! we might as well roll there and buy and roll bak. maybe even lesser than 30min. BAHAHAHAHA!! den later the motorcyclist came.. he rode pass us... and his face was expressionless. haha! damn funny. den we shouted for him. haha!! den he ride veri far away. my uncle chased him but to no avail. haha! den after that, the guy came. haha! den we ate.. bla bla.. emmalin(cousin) fell asleep. den we ate. den time passed so fast!! we were playing duno how mani rounds of poker. haha! and my uncle kept loosing. den i was lyk, if we played for money, my pocket would be filled. haha! it was tat bad.. haha. den 5am came.. and we went up to sleep. my grandpa and grandaunty went down to keep vigil. yea! den we sleep until 9+ couldnt sleep.. den we ate breakfast den went down for the final prayers...

monday
final round of prayers... den went to the columbarium... sighs. so sad!! den later creamate.. haiz... veri sad.. realli... altho she is not so close to mi, but i jus felt sad. controlled and all.. den went bak, had flower rinse and lunch. changed and went home.. den was on the phone with dear. den broke down. i duno.. i suddenly tot of my great grandma. was crying and crying.. den my eyes were pain. den went to slp. woke up at 9+ to play sims 2.. yeaps!!

today
emmalin came over cos she quit her daycare cos it was dirty. yea. den she came over. and she went home in the evening. i guess she was reluctant. haha. cos normally my uncle would fetch her at 10.. yea. den here i am.. so bored. was kicked outta maple.. cos the server down or smth. duno la.

ok.. here comes my thoughts..

1) i think bcos girls are so emotional... they always believe in stories, fairytales.. and.. there is such thing called drama serials.. esp those taiwan ones.. lyk wang zhi bian qing wa, MVP qing ren, etc etc. yea. so u have those. and puny brain-ed girls would always wanna follow the tong hua in the show. they would wan the apple sms as a gambate thing in MVP valentine, the frog ring in prince and pauper and so on and so forth. yes. u see.. and very often, they would also wan their love to be lyk those movies. or WORST!!!! THEME SONGs! yea. u get it. so this is it. and often, if their love are not lyk tat. they would make a helluva loadsa comotion. and bla bla bla.. and they wan their love to be so dramatic. come on men. wake ur senses... shouldnt taiwan idol serials be SHUN-ed OFF?

2) there is this jerk i know... who doesnt know wad is wrong and right, wad is black and white. ppl who are concerned for him might be ticked off for no rhyme or reason... oh, no. perhaps there is 1 reason.. cos he is in a bad mood. oh yea? jerk. and changes stead for duno how mani times cos his heart is with someone else. WTF!!! and everytime he has a stead.. he would put i love you dear. bla bla bla dear. bla bla bla dear. OMG!!! so sucky. EVERY new stead he does tat.. wtf? oh my. this is lyk... u know? hypocrite. complete flirt. no wonder he calls himself bustard.

ok. end of my thoughts. this is getting long. i should call the centre by the end of this week if tat person doesnt call and ask mi to go to work. yea.. manicuring on friday. curling hair on saturday. CANT WAIT!!!!!!!

abigail is coming bak todae!!!!
-BIG grin-

yep.. i am bak.. tat day at the funeral was ok... i saw alot of my relatives whom i have not seen before and whom i have not seen for AGES. and i really mean it when i say AGES. i duno... but i jus feel tat u know... when my gr8t grandma was alive.. not mani ppl came over to see her frequently.. and when she is lying in her coffin... they came. wad is the meaning of this? where is the filial peity they taught us back then? they arent setting a good example for the younger generations. tat's for sure.

when i reach tat place. i saw all my grand aunties. my uncles. bla bla. didnt realli call them. cos i forgot wad to call them alr! HAHA! ok. there's jus too mani ppl for mi to call. went there and i folded those paper.. and offer incense to my gr8t grandma. burn some money and duno wad paper for her.. and i looked at her in her coffin. she was veri pretty after her make up and new clothings.. and she has a pearl in her mouth. yeps. i duno wad is tat for.. i asked dear.. but he dun seem to know either.. am going up later with dear.. perhaps my sis also. den mit my mum there.. yea. my mum said tat there were mani ppl yesterday.. such a pity i didnt go.. cos my mum didnt tell mi she was going... ah! bother...

am doing xmas shopping later.. for candice.. charlyn.. jude.. and dear.. duno wad to get for jude and dear.. candice and charlyn i know alr. heh heh heh!! yeps! meeting my sis later to buy prezzies. cos she gotta get one for her hubs also.

abigail is coming bak on the 20th. hehe!! so happy to see her again. duno if she changed or not.. not much i guess. haha! my main worry is........................ would we still be speaking chinese when she is back? hmm....... -wonders

hmm. i am so bored.. waiting for my MP3 to load into my phone so i can play sims 2. weehee!! i jus realised a fact for maple.. and it's tat i hafta drag those skills of my archer to the keyboard to use the specific skills. how stupid can i get. and i was pretty happy about it also. wahahah!

ok. my phone is almost done. byeee

there is smth to be happy and something to be unhappy about...

happy??

i've got a job. gotta thank mr.Toh for this.

unhappy??

my great grandmother passed away this morning. sighs... i duno how to cope with it. am going over to her preperations for funeral now. i hope everything goes well.

bye folks....

the class chalet was................... fun? LOL!!! i duno. cos i didnt realli participated. i went there.. den er... most of them went out to play pool. den i didnt wanna.. cos it's sucha waste of money. den after awhile.. went with mrs.Yap and steph and yishan to white sands to do some shopping. we onli wanted to buy serviettes, cordial,charcoal, fire starter and corn in the beginning.. in the end? hahaha!! we bought whole loadsa things... we bought chicken wings.. bread. garlic spread. terriyaki marination. yada yada. luckily enough to pay up. onli we exceed lyk $5.. yeps! went bak to chalet. den they were playing this game called RISK. kinda interesting tho... den i was sooooooo super duper tired. cos nice ms steph ask mi to mit her at 7AM!!!!!! cos she wanna be early so she can see someone... how nice of her. but she was disappointed. haha!!! the risk game is kinda lyk u control over some countries. so u hafta take over as much countries as u can, making the territories urs. kinda fun.. den i went to the room to sleep.

den woke up... cos the BBQ guy told mi they coming over to deliver it at 4.30PM... in the end didnt go out to rent bicycle with them. sad.. i veri veri long nvr cycle liao.. i know tat cycling is for life time.. i mean, u wun forget ur whole life.. but i veri veri long nvr ride alr. i hope i remember how to tho... den justin came.. the food came... peiwan, sandy, tiff came. they came bak.. mrs.yap bathe her kids and they went out to eat cos her kids dun eat BBQ food. den mi and yishan were preparing food lyk hell. but a few came and help.... only for awhile.. be thankful?? yea. i guess so.. den the guys start the fire. den they all crowd around the pit to BBQ. i see no sense.. oh, wadever... yea. den we ate. alot alot of food left. cos some idiots nvr turn up. inclusive of teachers also. damn them... cos we had so much food left. but mrs.rajakumar came.. good enough. (: Mr.toh den soon came afterwards.

den all of us bathe.. except for one. i shant elaborate.

den duno whose gr8t idea was it to walk to the beach and go bak. darn it.. and i know i cant stay awake all day.. i went to slp.. yea.. they should wake mi up so they could slp on the bed too.. hmm.....

den everything done... chalet finish.... in jus 2-3 days... so fast... time flies!!!

oooo. going interview tmr. i hope i get it tho.. haha!! thank god i finally going to get a job. now is half-way to get the job. yea! i think i shall take bus there..haha! lazy mi.. it's onli lyk 6 stops. lol!! nvm la.. take bus first. heh heh heh!!

i jus woke up from my nap. my mom woke mi up wif a phone call. how nice... haha!!! ok. i am going off. bye!

oh well. i am pretty hurt. argh! wadever... no one cares. i think i am giving up on all things. nth is worth my care. not even YOU can make mi change my mind. i actually went for confession yesterday... and i scolded vulgarities right after that.. in a span of less than an hr. how holy of mi. and i forced myself to recite the rosary the whole night before i slept.. i hope the confirmation to is meaningful for mi. i dun wanna get confirmed wif a whole deal of sins. and i learn to let go..

yday was fine. aunty silvia duno wanna bring how mani ppl to the mass. damn. i hate squeezing pews. and our pew is short. ewww.. i am the first to get the annointing of chrism. haha. i hope nth goes wrong tho... hafta be in church at 4pm. dread it.. with our attire and all on us. wad if it gets dirty? who is gonna be responsible? ewwwww. nvm... once in a lifetime...

class chalet is todae!!!! cant wait.. (: too bad i can onli join them tmr. heh heh heh. planning some games. i better remember to buy plastic bags.. so can throw water bomb. hahahahaha!!!!! mean mi. -evil grins.. i am veri much looking forward to it.. yea!

confirmation confirmation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! finally.. 10yrs of awaiting is coming to an end. 10 yrs of catechism class has all come down to today. today is the day!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!! i cant wait.. so mani things for mi to look forward to. haha.

alrite. i am off now.. hafta do some stuffs...

i realise i have lost all connections with you. i realise there is no bond in us anymore. what is the point of being good only for awhile and quarreling most of the time? perhaps we should both do some soul searching and reflections before making any decision. perhaps we should give each other a great big deal of time to think over what has been done and said.. the happy and unhappy times we had together. or should i say unhappy times only? i duno. i have no idea wad u think of this relationship. but i just find that both our time has gone down the drain. both our affectionate and love for each other that has mounted over 18mths has indeed been wasted. i leave this to you. cos i dun wanna waste any of my time on a relationship that doesnt seem to bear any fruits. right now, all i can offer is sorry. altho my love for u is there.. i can sense that it is dead..

hmm.. lets see... let me reveal the hello kitty marshmallow. haha! it is so cool!

yea... so cool rite!! and it's onli $3.20.... sooooo cool. sandy might be jealous... XD. WAHAHAHAH!!! it's for the kids during xmas... and i cooked some beef todae.. it is too chewy...

oh. i love cooking. haha!!

tmr going shopping for my shoes.. sigh... and also some clothings.. going to the same shop again.. yea... so cool.. but ex. weehehehe.

i am so bored.. i dun wanna stay home... my grand aunty called jus now and said tat my aunty wanna hire ppl.. i hope i get it tho.. she needs permanent suff.. hope i get it.. *pray*

er.. i think i am going off... i am uber bored... have been playing maple and sims 2 this few days.. some screen shots....

the girl is looking at her engage ring... waiter extra. ZZZ!!

maple me.. haha! but i look different now. will take another photo later.. :)

yea! i bought my confirmation attire alr. i love it!! it's those layered skirt.. and er... a tube shirt?!?! i duno.. but it's nice.. spent $100 on it. i am left with my shoes onli. AHHH!!!! hehe. yday went to hougang to meet my sis. den we went shopping. i bought this hello kitty marshmallow. it's onli $3.20!!!! and i tot it was $5+ at first when i saw it. take pics later. lazy to do it now. haha! this few days have been slacking at home. yawns... games = boring. haha! i find tat sims 2 veri sian alr.. yawns!!! haha!

hmm.. i duno wad to blog about.. maple is kinda fun now. haha. cos lesser ppl.. cool!! heh heh heh. hmm... and somemore?!?! i duno... lol. i am soo bored. i forgot wad to blog alr. oh well... bye!

jus when i was happy about going out... u hafta call and tell mi u cant make it... sighs.... wad can i do? i am sadddddddd. but i guess u'll nvr know... oh well.. forget it...

haha. i am happy!! i duno y.. but haha.. i felt loved... haha!!! ok. maybe i am kinda HYPOCRITE. but dear, after today... all the quarrelings doesnt matter animore... love ya! muacks

oh well. met dear todae.. yep. and er.... went to look for my confirmation dress.... but. it was so much lyk a wedding gown.. and i dun think i nid to wear until lyk i'm getting married. so we left... and i called charlyn. she said tat she bought 2 piece. oh well.. i think i'm buying 2 piece as well.. melanie and lexine is not wearing 2 piece either. oh, bother! gonna buy a botton up short sleeve white colared shirt together wif white skirt. dun wan long one. and my shoes???? i duno.. LOL. i think gonna be slip on kinda slippers. haha! oh well. we'll see later. next sunday is my confirmation.. i am so gay about it. haha!!

ok.. i didnt go prom. but i guess i missed whole loadsa fun. but no pt regretting now, right? AHHH!! wad am i doing?? hmm.. looking forward to class chalet also. haha! i am gonna be sooo happy to see them. haha! i duno y. but i am jus looking forward to it. (: hehe!

i got bak my sims 2 todae. thank god. i can finally play. haha!

tmr is a fun filled day for mi!! gonna look for confirmation attire.. and go orcharddddd!!!!! see xmas lighting. ok. i know i am veri suaku but... i jus wanna go see la. haha. er. get abit of xmas feel. haha!! some more if dun go see den duno when can alr. cos sat i will be in church for rehearsals ALL DAY and on sunday is the actual thing. haha! and after tat.. it's a few more days to xmas.. cant wait!!!!! teehee. i guess i am off to play my sims 2 now. see ya all....

dear, if u're looking at this, i duno how to describe how i feel.. but... i felt veri secure when u hugged mi while sleeping.. and the feeling of seeing u once i open my eyes is a feeling i cannot describe.. i jus feel on top of the world.. and i realli wish tat moment could last forever. maybe i am veri mushy and all.. but this is all how i feel. i know past few days is not veri good.. but.. i didnt wanna bring the matter up. but u thought tat i actually called to be petty over tat matter.. i jus wanna see wad u're doing. tats all.. maybe it's jus todae tat we're gonna be happy. and weekdays everything is going bak to square one. perhaps i dun understand how ur situation is as yet. but sometimes things tat could be done, i jus duno how u cant do it. maybe i am asking too much of this relationship and also u. but.. all this i ask of u is actually an assurance... trust me...