disintegrate

rate

고양이가 에 의하여 여기의 비가 오고 있다 그리고 나는 잘 수 있는다 것 을 나가 바라는 까 라고 개는 나의 장소 그러나 나에maplestory.XX아을 위해EXP카드를 샀다. x이아오 얀 이렇게 거푸집 거푸집은 나의 복장 이미 더 늦은 필요물sms딸랑딸랑 소리에게 만들는 아줌마를 사용하, 그녀에게 말해야 한다 그래서 나는 화요일에 그것을 가져올 수 있는다

heya hon. sorry i aint available yday. but u can call mi anitime u wan yea? i love ya!!

my title describes me now. haha.

went to watch over the hedge wif calvin, yz and caoyang on fri night. erm. he was so rude. i guess i cant stand those kinda species. was supposed to meet winson. but didnt in the end. hoho! the show was erm.. ok.. but abit rush ba. but i believe every cartoon is suppose to teach kids a lesson. for this, i think it's something about friends and returning them a favour.. yea~ not very funny. i expected to laugh my ass out. but, didnt it failed..

yday went to meng tai industries. to shop wif sharon and ting. veri disappointing indeed. but i bought a top and a skirt. haha! cost mi like erm.. say.. i duno? haha! i forgot.. den later meet my sis den went to far east. lol. bought mani things. 1 pair of shoes. 1 skirt. 4 tops. yea. haha. $200+ gone. LOL!!!! but worth it. my bag had shopping bags. i was holding unto shopping bags. haha! so heavy. walk until my legs sore. yea. painted my toe nails. had pedicure. haha! was pretty ex.. =X wad to expect.. haha!

took a cab home. cos was dead beat. den i took it at the hotel next to far east. dun remember wad is it.. den mani ppl in the queue. but those ushers let other ppl took it instead. den i think those china ppl behind mi ask mi y they took it. den i said oh, maybe they r residents of this hotel. cos they prioritise them first. den they said oh, ok. i tot they r president or smth. den later on, got one ang moh from the queue scolded the ushers. telling them off about the queue. den this india family, came to the usher duno say wad den board the cab. den the china ppl behind mi say: oh, are they the president of india? hahaha! i was laughing la. hahaha! den they told mi. oh, ur turn is next. u can be the president. hahaha! so funny la they all. hahaha!

den bought dinner from woodgrove bak home. saw an indian uncle. den he ask mi isst come bak from work.. wa lau. i had like 3 shopping bag on hand and u ask if i went to work? crazy.. somemore ask isst go overseas shopping. doesnt he know tat the sale is on? hahaha! but his son so cute. haha

today, i decided to stay home. chiong maple!! haha. byee

hahaha! i am suppose to collect my o lvl cert.. but...... forget it.. i am plain LAZY. yea. lazy is the word. hahahahaaaahahahahahahah!

hmm.. talking to lionel now. brk up wif his gf of 2 yrs? his gf goes clubbing with other guys and all.. i mean, wad's new men? working night shift is indeed a disadvantage. FEN SHOU BA! WO MEN FEN SHOU BA! i know i sound mean. but, wadever! she sms him and said she wanna take her stuffs back cos she stayed at his hse before. like, wadever. i told him to deliver her things to her house. WAHAHAHA. i am evil. karma will come to me. hahaha!

i regret telling winson. damn it. now it jus feels awkward. i wish i hadn't told him. like, shit.wad can i do now?????? wad done is done. live with it. jus hope tat everything jus brushes like it's nth.

tmr going shopping!!!

yday ting and pris came to my hse and ask my mum's frd to sew our costume. supposedly go to angela's (another one) mum's shop. but it cost us $120. wth men? so i decided to ask mym mum and my mum ask her frd. tada! FOC. hahahaha! saved us alot alot. den my mum invited them to my sis's wedding. my mum is crazy. over-friendly. wahahahaha. i hafta tell my sis this men. wahahahaha!

erm.. i duno if i am blessed negatively or positively with this bunch of ppl in my class. they seem to choose ppl they like to work with and leave the not good ones out. and i was kinda pissed so i told the mummy of our class, to seperate everyone. i mean, it doesnt mean u haf ur own cliques den u hafta be comfortable wif them wad. does it mean tat those bad ppl haf no one to choose to work with? and u, being in the limelight can choose who to work with? u keep on emphasising "we as an earlychildhood educator should bla bla bla" u acted over emotional. so, y cant u feel for those ppl? is this an act of an early childhood educator advisable? u can be nice to ur kids. cos ur kids are naive and innocent. wad about adults? where are their benefits? voices unhead. unfair treatment. and when mummy sorted our grp, u WEREN'T happy at all. wtf? am i suppose to be guilty. i mean, we r all human. we judge ppl normally by wad they do. it's all surface. y dun u go indepth and try to see how it feels? its bcos u have nvr been like tat before tat u enjoy discrimincating ppl. u can be the apple of everybody's eyes. jus one day, if i ever flare, u see how u go about pleasing everybody. altho i know, everybody will side u. cos jus by u crying, everybody will shower love on u. stop judging and drawing inferences from friendster. and i'm always deemed bad for speaking up for those poor souls. afterall, am i supposed to be blessed?

here are the pics of mu nails.. and my mickey earring. WAHAHAH!

my nails last week..
my mickey ear ring which cost mi onli 6 bucks in chinatown. HEHE!
my nails this week..

in aniwae, pardon mi for the blur-ness. hehe!

wilfred sms mi and called mi again. all of a sudden. like, wad the hell?? patch up after patch up after patch up.. wad makes him so sure he can prove it to mi this time round? to hell with it. he called wif pte number and i always haf the tendency to pick it up whenever it is pte number cos i duno who is it right? den i picked up. it was him. luckily winson was about to call mi. den i hurry him. WAHAHA! den i hung up wif excuse of another line. haha! and he sms mi all those jiao wei. like, am i suppose to believe them? BA!

den talked to winson. kept talking about tat girl. and he say he die heart alr. wth? i mean, i cant say anithing.. can i? jus leave it ba. old uncle. haha! he waited for tat girl for some 6 yrs. omg! this is craziness. i would jus give it up.

ok ba~ i hafta go bank in cheque lo~~ hurray!!

bustard calvin tan. save up hor. tmr is the day!! but if i haven get my results, we go dutch ok? WAHAHA! go look for movies now. gogogo!

sian. maple is DOWN. damn it. i bought the exp card leh.. jus like less than a week ago.. sighs! den now.......... 24hr exp out le!!! =( stupid. sighs.. and.. lubidrium is out. HAIZ!!! i think i faster chiong. den can play lubidrium. sian sian sian. haiz. SIAN AH!!!!!!!!

yday and the day before yday had to go to work in the morn. tat fucking bitch. she is gonna get the hell outta me if she is still there in sept. fucking bitch. say i look like china girl. fuck her. and its not my fault tat the poor boy doesnt like her but chose mi ove rher instead, and she pass sarcastic remarks like: woah. he wants u ah? fuck bitch. damn it. i haf more ren yuan than u. u jealous isst? fucker. and tat indian girl doesnt like mi cos i am NOT close with her. and i dun suck it up to her. of cos she wouldnt like me. duh!! and do u nid to make it sound like she DUN WAN me. fuck. and u.. haf no qualification to order mi to do things when i know wad to do. and pls, for god's sake. mind ur own business. u didnt wanna take PG so i took over. if u r sooooooo close to pg, den leave tot grp and let me take tot la. i think they wiould prefer mi more. u always make them cry. and pls, for the last time, stop coming to the room and ask for hugs b4 u leave. damn it. u wanna win some ms.popular? darn u. fuck off, bitch.

ok. finished wif my rantings. haha!

oh. wif the admin job, it happened like this. on a friday night, my boss sms mi saying she was sorry to stress mi out. den i told her its ok since i am not trained to be an admin, she better find an admin soon enuff so i can leave. den she nvr reply. den the next morn, she called mi. and told mi she didnt wanna stress mi out further.. den bla bla bla. she use the old admin bak. den for mi, she wanna keep mi for evening shift. and tat i hafta work with her until i finish my course. and tat she would extend my contract after my course. she say i am a good tcher wif good attitude. MUAHAHAHA! of cos of cos. hahaha!

den somemore wad thing nid to update?? i dun think so le right..

yday night went out wif ting and pris to get some assignment stuff. and i bought a bmickey earring. so cool. wil take photo if possible and post it up. it's onli $6.. y not? haha!

suntec hasnt changed much when i went there wif derek the other day. haha.except for those gacha machines. hehe! watched da vinci code wif cal and yz. haha. yz was shivering. poor thing leh. i can feel the armrest shaking. hahahahhaa! poor thing. hahahaha! but the movie ok ba. not veri confusing.. but i wanna read the book.. haha! i think i gonna buy it or smth. and by the way calvin, remember to save $17 for this fri. watch movie again hor. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

i got my pay le. but i nid to pay for so mani things! nid to pay my mum $100 for the church dinner. den $13 to pris for the cloth to make the costume. den somemore nid to buy clothings. sian!! money come, haven smell, den go liao. damn it. haiz! but i realli nid a new closet. hahahhaa!

found mani two headed snake in my class. not mani la. maybe a handfull. was telling KW the other. he told mi his camp also got. but he suay ba. sign on 10yrs. pffT! i'd rather die. haha! he going thailand next week for 6 weeks. haha! den gxx was saying he might come bak wif a new thai gf. hahahaha! hopefully ba. so his snrs wun nid to intro more girls for him. WAHAHAHAHA!

ok ba. i think its a pretty long post. supose to go bank to bank in cheque and get an ATM card. but i am lazy........................ haha! ok ba. bye!

hehe. i am backkkkk. but not for long. gotta go off soon. woke up late. darn it. hafta work in the morn for yday and today. hehe. so tired. todae going chinatown to buy my assignment things. hopefully can find all the things there. if not....... i duno wad to do. haha!

i hate tat BITCH. she orders mi around as tho she is the boss. DARN IT! blardie bitch.

anwiae, i go off le. haven bath. haven eat. RAH!!!

calvin tan qian zhi is prolly the onli bustard who would lie men. fuck. and he is the onli one who will scare to wits outta me when i am late. and the onli one who will make mi take cab from my house to casueway point dispite the fact tat the distance was fucking short.

but he made it up. he paid a LITTLE bit of my ticket for the da vinci code (where yanzheng was shivering) and a LITTLE bit for the drink. haha. which was left in the theatre more than half filled.

thanks, bastard.

i am falling in love again~~ haha!

save mi from drowning in the sea of love.

(8) sombody saveeeeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(8)

hahahhaa!

I PASS MY FIRST AIDS EXAMS!!!!! WEEHOO! FIRST ATTEMPT AND I DID IT. I DID IT. I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn it. my canoe instructor flirt with one girl. RAH!!!!

i am veri angry. i am veri pissed. i am feeling so sad now. i duno y. but it jus kept coming bak to me. i duno wad to do. i hate all this. damn it. i duno how come i suddenly got reminded of u. it is jus so sudden. i hate it. ARGH!

i love everyone!! hahaha

sorry couldnt update. i was stuck on maple. gonna job adbvance soon. WAHAHAH! shiok shiok. hahahaha

bought a new bag. and painted my nails on sat. its wif a printer. haha. so cool. upload pics when i come bak. todae mus chiong assignment. cannot slack le. bye ppl!

tat guy got gf le. < / 3

HAHAHA. as if i am heartbroken. hahaa! to hell with it. hahahah

my sis 21st bdae cake

my "new" croc shoes

recent buys to satisfy my eyes. haha! so niec right?

my N1 class. haha! they r playing and running around la. not so clear. the pink girl at the right is summer. the light blue boy is Ron. the dark blue boy is OJ. the orange pants girl is Jie En. behind her is Hui En. next to ron, is nara/wada. i duno. they r twins. the lady is their chinese tcher. she is talking to a girl, vera(hidden). cos she is apparently climbing unto the wall like a monkey. hahah! i think tats all folks!

hahaha. first aid was interesting cos my partner is so macho. i regret going to parkmall after course.. if not i could have walked to the MRT with him.. AWW....... full details tmr after i come bak from mother's day celebration. WAHAHA!

in aniwae, if u r confused, i Am still working! full details tmr too. haha!

i did my nails. not bad la. haha! but abit nan kan. cos i didnt have the patience to actually wait and all. haha!

tat guy so handsome and macho. he is my partner.. *aww..* hahahaha! part time canoe instructor. WAHHAA! 26 yrs old.. =( NTU grad. WAHAHA! he told mi de wor. and he asked mi where i stay. WAHAHHAA! *slaps myself up* WAHAHA! he stays at sengkang.. hahahhaa. i didnt dare to do bandage wif him la. so malu. but........ AWW.. i like his perfume! *faints. WAHAHAHA!

ok la. i better go sleep. i am kinda pissed wif ZC. duh! forget it. i better sleep if not tmr no energy to see my shuai ge. mus see more tmr. mus see even more next week. cos next sat last day of course.. =(

ASK ME FOR MY NUMBER, SHUAI GE! wahahahaha! -faints

today is a happy day! hap hap HAPPY DAY!

WAHAHAH! MY BOSS JUS CALLED TO SAY..................................... I NO NEED TO GO FOR ADMIN JOB LO!!!!!!!!!! HIPHIP, HURRAY! HIPHIP, HURRAY! HIPHIP,HURRAY!

yes! getting pay next tues. good good. buy clothings. shiokshiok. WAHAHHAA!

yes! todae is a happy day. REJOICE! haha!

but... tmr still hafta go for first aids course. sianz!!!

i go play sims 2 le. bye!

FUCK. TODAY IS MY OFF DAY AND YOU FUCKINGLY CALLED AND ASK ME THINGS. darn

stupid. call so early. not as if i am sleeping, but u totally spoilt my day. darn it. off day evening still nid to go bak. wtf is this? stupid shit.

took off day to do assignment. hohoho! special needs. yday this aunty in my class shared about her kids. 2 out of 4 were special needs kid. had ADHD and deslyxia. veri much idolise her after she told us her experience. i think i dun realli haf the patience to actually go and nurture them. sighs. and got once she actually confronted ting to say ting has ADHA. ting got pretty much offended. den yday while talking about her kid, she keep looking at ting. den mi and ting were like laughing and laughing. haha! altho its rude, but. we cant help it. HAHA

bought choco for the mummies in my class todae. hafta call pizza hut to book seats for momma day and father's bdae. sianz!

this few days keep having runs in my tummy. sigh. sianz. i took a pic of my N1 class yday. quite blur cos they were running around. haha. will upload them if i can.. speaking of upload, i think i better load new MP3 into my phone. its boring me already.

talked to Ady yday. he say his sch has beauty theraphy course. hahaha! he is in ITE simei taking electronics engineering la. den he say in tat course, onli CERTIFIED chio bu can get in. den he say some veri ugly. hahaha! can onli get in by interview. ahahahha! he say got one AUNTY, POKED face, bla bla. hahaha! so farnie la. like he veri handsome. LOL!

this weekend very busy. SIGH!!!!!! despite having first aid course this wkend, still hafta go for cousin bdae on sat night and mother day celeb on sun night. den next sat got last day of first aids course. den hafta like go wif derek to buy gift for stef after tat. sian!! and its 9am to 6pm ok. sucks. so tiring lor. zzz! sian sian sian. i scared i fail. HAIZ! den hafta retake. haiz!! its at dhoby ghaut. worse! but its along my line. so its ok. hahahaha! sianzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

i think i go off le ba. nothing much to do now. bye!

darn it. i hate work. i HATE WORK. i hate stupid admin job. ARGH!! i hope she finds herself an admin soon. damn it. i am sooo tired. i dun even feel like going to work. slacked on bed from 6 to 6.30. stupid piece of shit. now i am having diarrohea. however u spell it la. darn. i dun feel like working. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn it.

read something yday. was kinda happy inside myself. but as i was reading, i reflected.. den its like.. it kinda reflect me. changing myself over a game. yea. but, wad's done is done. i cant beg him back. i actually got told off by alex for feeling tat tat guy's retribution came. cos alex haf felt the same way b4. so he sympathises with him wad the hell men..

my question is........................

why would you wanna fall in love again and again only to find yourself hurt? and if you are hurt umpteen times, why would the hurt still be the same since it has been repeated for god knows how many times?

in aniwae, cried for no reason yday. DARN! i duno y la. crazy me. finally finish observation module's assignment. now mus rush for safety health and nutrition.. den special needs. sian. all this by 17 may. haiz.

life of a 17 yr old.........................

off to stupid work. bye

yawns. single yawn. double yawn. triple yawn. yawn yawn yawn. DARN IT. hehehehe. i think i done something to my blogspot. it looks so orh biang now. oh well, wadever. i changed the title of my blog. it sounds STUPID. yes. i know. it Is stupid. bahahaha! oh well, i've been LAO SAI-ing this few days and i even had the urge to drink yakult. DOUBLE SCREAM! haha. oh wlel. political staff. i duno about u all. but i've been convinced by ALL of the opposite party with their speech rally against PAP. y haven PAP stood out? so i can hear something. or isst tat they stood out too much a times that they onli have 1 rally on tv for thr opp party and i so happened to watch it? wadever it is.. 4 frrigging yrs later den i can vote. 5 yrs later vote again. which means, I CAN VOTE THE NEXT TIME ROUND!!!!!! wahaha. oh well, upgrading is the theme this year.. OH WELL!!! wadever la. i can vote den say. no vote, no say. altho vote is private. i think.............................................................................. u'd still discuss wif ur spouse or close frd de rite? WAHHAA.

oh well, i am off to do some stuffs. or rather, SLEEP. gd night!

here to leave some note. hehehe. *loosen abit. not so serious*

honey:
heya. i was kinda speechless when u told me. and i know u were still in a state of shock at tat point of time. i could see it la huh. haha! yea. i mean, i am not so panicky cos i WAS like tat too. so, yea. keep it within ourself la huh. i mean, i'm not gonna post wad is it about here. but, rather some experience la.

i was like u too, as mentioned. but, i mean, its a decision of both la. (but for me, NO. except for the second time. teeheehee!) i remember u asking mi if i regret, take the second time for example la, ok? i mean, told u its between 2 tat made a decision and it takes 2 hands to clap. i didnt regret up til now. cos at tat point, u were in love. and out of love, it bcame like tat. and i strongly feel tat.. even after a brk up, we shouldnt realli call the other party names. cos, we were, afterall, once with them. so, doesnt it make u one too? yea. so there u go. i didnt regret. altho its over, let it be. but, u hafta stand strong and say NO when the other ppl comes along and ask if u wanna repeat it. i know u might regret about it. but, to realli think about it, u should jus smile over it. i know its not a veri small thing. but u jus hafta live with it yea? and whether if u wan other ppl who comes along to know or not, its up to u. if u think its good to inform, den do it. but, u'll nvr know their intention ya?

in aniwae, i am always here. if anithing happens, i'll try my veri best to help u out ok? and u realli hafta be thankful for so mani ppl who cared for u yeaps? cos for me, no one knew. and altho 2 ppl came out to help, i wasnt realli willing to open up la. so, yea. so immature last time. regreting it now. they should have bashed tat fucker up(which they did) and i should not cover it up for him. WAHAHAHA.

in aniwae, take loadsa care. i'm always here. =)

Alex:
so sorry, but i think not. cos we're onli friends. i dun expect u to find other target la. but, its better to u know.. erm.. find a GF la. i mean, its also not nice to go and ask ppl around u. u know wad i mean?? i dun mean u go anihow find one for tat purpose la. jus tat, be serious lo. cos.. u might nvr know wad will happen la. ppl nowadays not as naive u know?

i wasnt offended by ur sms on Mon la. at least u asked it in a more gentleman way la huh. jus concentrate on ur studies first lo. anithing else grad le den say. take care!

WEEHOO! i didnt turn up for evening shift todae. BAH! i am tired. and i nid time to recuperate and do my assignment. i did some follow up and oranising. yea. i hope tmr i get off again so i can chiong everything. hehehehehehe. but i cant chiong for long i guess. cos... ... ... ... ... i nid to slp.

sighs. i told the boss indirectly i didnt wanna work morning shift. and intro my auntie to her to work for admin. (aniwae, admin post up for grab. anione need a job??) i mean i didnt self-fund $4326 to myself to be an admin. HELLO? and its pretty tiring. i leave home 7am in the morn onli to reach home at 9pm. HELLO? wad is this men. gross! i mean, i hafta work and study. like, WTH? i mean, yes, i am 17 ONLY. and i have the energy to go all out. but during class, i came to realise i was slacking somehow. how to concentrate? and evening i hafta go bak to work. like, BOO! i take cab EVERYDAY u know. to get home. cos i was too tired to stand on the train. YES! imagine how much money i waste already??

she told me yday tat she nids a part time AFTERNOON admin. cos i am onli morning admin. and afternoon i go off to school. oh yes, veri nice. so i told her no point having 2 diff admin. cos u will nid to double up instructions, demostrations, explanations, complains, anithing and everything. and, MY INTENTION WAS: i work for u ONLY in the evening. den admin, its better for u to find one FULL TIME one. cos in the end, not onli u will be confused, the admin will also be confused. cos hafta catch up with wad i finish with. it would be veri veri troublesome. i mean, i hafta work in May for evening shift. so, i will work for u in the evening for a month den I WILL LEAVE after May to find another centre to get myself attached to. but, b4 i can tell her my plan, SHE CUT ME OFF. doh!!!!!!!!!! and i even told her i leave and reach home at wad time. and i tot she could catch some hint, NO WAY!!!! she instead told me she will put mi into the toddler group.. sighs..................................................... which means i hafta work in the morn. i mean, I DUN MIND. but pls dun let me do the evening shift la huh. it realli realli tire me out. now, i can onli pray tat my aunty goes for the interview and pass it. so she give her current boss 1 mth notice for resignation. *prays hard*

ok, so much for my complains. i think i will perk up my courage and sms her if i can take evening leave tmr and fri morn leave so i can do my assignment. hai. life of my 17 yr old. i pity my kids next time. when other frds of mine tell their kids how interesting their poly life was, how fun it was. bla bla bla. wad will i tell my kid? "ah boy ah. u know ah. mummy 17 yrs old den work. nvr go poly ah. u cannot follow mummy hor. u mus study well den go poly. enjoy ur life there." WAD THE FUCK?? my ah boy will surely go like: " mummy. y u can den i cannot??" oh boy. how am i gonna answer my kid? SIGHS!! next tym, i will name my ah boy... LENNON or COSMAS or TRISTAN. nice hor? haha/ for girls, i duno. cos i nvr ee ani nice name b4. maybe ALETHEA is nice la. but tat girl in my sch is tooooo spoilt. but, it doesnt sound bad.. right?? WAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i wanna get married NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW! crazy. i am off to dream more. ciao~

4E3-2005: if u r reading this, pls msn me to tell me if u can make it on vesak day. thanks!!