disintegrate

rate

i miss my supper gang alot!

okays. here i am again. no need to send my young BF to school or back home anymore. sometimes little things goes to show how supportive your family is. and often it's pretty sad to know the truth. there or not? in or out? oh well. i guess sometimes the truth is often painful and self denial is often practiced when placed in situations like this. i sincerely hope i wont have to go through such torments. emotionally and physically.

have been on a roller coaster ride recently. you make me happy. you make me sad. and lastly, it had to become like this. what is it that you really want from me? to stay or not? i don't know. I'll take it as it comes. sometimes i got the urge to just pick my phone and dial. but more often than not, i didn't. didn't wanna seem irritating. and didn't wanna seem like i care. sometimes i tell myself to let go. but, i can't. sometimes i feel that you might need someone with you in times like this. but i guess i ain't that someone.

work has been fine. except that got a lil busier. hafta get use to the timing and schedule again. and the dreadful thing, train new kids. damn. sometimes i with they didnt have to come and spoil my market. RAH! but they're here. take up the challenges!

night class sucks. fuck that boastful #@%$#^$#%. whatever that fits in those signs. i simply hate her. or rather, my cohort pretty much DISLIKE her. damn. and i think she dislikes us too! an eye for an eye. so, ya. DAMN.

okays. i am going off. i think i am gonna sleep soon. yet another outing tmr. hope i can survive tomorrow. cos i still have night class with that #@%$#^$#%.

Goodbye.

well, i guess it's a step to another point of life when my guy friends (same age) starts getting enlist into army.

good luck!

I've always thought that Chinese is a pretty sentimental language. hmm... let me blog in Chinese then. my Chinese is half past six. bear with it. otherwise, you have a choice to navigate away. :)

"分手快乐
祝你快乐
你可以找到更好的
不想过冬
厌倦沉重
就飞去热带的岛屿游泳
分手快乐
请你快乐
挥别错的才能和对的相逢
离开旧爱
像坐慢车
看透彻了心就会是晴朗的
没人能把谁的幸福没收"
lyrics with courtesy from www.baidu.com

什么是快乐? 快乐是什么? 分手就真的能快乐吗?

分手的后果又是什么呢? 开心和幸福还是眼泪和痛苦呢?

分手后，到底有多少人会在站起来呢?

就算站起来了，难道伤痕就从此不在出现了吗?

难道相爱得人在一起一定就会开心幸福吗?

幸福到底有是什么来?摸也摸不着。吃也吃不到。幸福那里找?

幸福对我来说就是看到身边的人高高兴兴。快乐对我来说是一种满足感。

满足感????

是当我得到我一直在追求的目标时，我会体验的一种感觉。

你快乐的定义是什么呢?幸福的定义又是什么呢?

是你一心想追求的还是衣物上的所需呢?

am really very apologetic if it doesn't make sense. i am actually stuck in between some sentences, trying to make out what do i really wanna type and trying to figure it out in Chinese. i almost resort to typing in English. but i am glad my 13years of Chinese education did help.

my B3 in Chinese for O's isn't fake. although i got a 3 on the second attempt. :P

as of tomorrow...

my class would be on Mon Wed and Fri. it will end at 9.30pm LATEST. location would be Tanjong Pagar. On a few weeks of November, i will have class on Mon, Wed, Thurs and Fri.

as for Tues and Thurs, i will end work at 6.30pm. after sending the kids for bus, i'll be available as of 6.45pm. depending on the arrival of the bus. and on Tues and Thurs, i hafta send my young boyfriend to his grandpa house by 7.30pm. which means, i will only be free after 7.30pm. location would be Braddel. if needs be, meet me anywhere from Woodlands to Braddel after 7.30pm. in accordance to the MRT North South line.

every morning, i will hafta bring my young boyfriend to school. which means i will not be available for breakfast unless it's earlier than 8am.

on weekends, i will leave sunday out for any meetings as i need to do my work. for Saturday, if it's super important that i must show up, then i will. i will also show up for gatherings. but i work on every last Sat of the month. i will definitely be free from then, after 2pm. location at Tanjong Pagar.

please do not meet me at the dead middle of the night unless it doesnt require me to travel. cos i dont like to travel from home at night unless you have a transport.

if needs be, meet me at night after i have lesson. but please try not to cos i'd be dead beat. meeting me on Friday night is fine. a simple dinner around woodlands on Tues and Thurs is also fine provided its after 8pm. last sat of the month between 2 - 3pm at town area is okay. other than that, saturday is basically fine depending on company and events. sunday is a no no except for simple dinner.

P/S: please be very very very very very understanding if i can't meet you when i say i am tired. it's very hard to juggle everything at a go. please spare a thought. don't say i have no time for you and help me slot time in to go out. it's very draining to the soul.
P/S P/S: i am not sounding hard to get but i want people to understand my hectic schedule. i still do love you all, that is. young or old, man or woman, boy or girl.

good bye!

perhaps, congrats to you.

---------------------------------------------

i really hate this disappointed feeling. it feels like everything comes crashing down. really. although we didnt mean anything, but still, i feel broken.

it really tumble and falls.

i guess the running and hiding will start again. good luck to you. nonetheless, congrats....

loves!

SUPER
TIRED.