disintegrate

rate

i am so pissed off..

i think ppl is blabbering abt mi or wadeva. i onli believe myself. if i did it, i will admit. u can say wadever u all wan. i dun think there is a need for mi to explain.

i think promises are empty. bye

so long nvr online already.. hmms.. let's see... i'm feeling so pissed abt things this few days. did up a mindmap abt myself todae, as in wad is happening and all.. it came out to be pretty well. as in if there is no one i can confide to, there is still me writing it out. maybe i'll feel better huh...

wanna know my mindmap??? ok, here it goes.

the main topic is "PISSED" sub out into FRIENDS, ME, LOVE.

FRIENDS

-closed ones

someone spoiled my thing and apparently didnt pay me bak.. or even returned mi the spoilt thing. and i had to use my money to buy it.. considering the fact tat i am poor already! and she says tat the tcher says it has been spoilt b4.. HELLO! i knoe.he was the one who spoilt it ok~ and u said u would replace it.. hello??????

- okay ones
it's apparently someone's birthday. shared money to buy a gift for her. came bak to school?!?! not even a thanks. and give tat kinda face. it's bcos no one wanna share the gift tat i decided to share it. and bcos of the book she lend mi. so does this mean she can be ungreatful abt it? i'm not saying tat u mus buy a present bak for mi on my birthday. but it's lyk. . . . . not even a thanks?!?! christian indeed huh~

ME
-changed
for wad did i changed? i knew i was changing.. it's lyk.. i mus say i changed bcos of the ppl ard mi.. as in... i change to suit them. not my frds'tat i'm saying about.. it's someone else..

-birthday
oh yea. it's the suckiest bday i mus say.. and considering the fact tat i am turning 16. how sucky can it get! ppl say they will buy mi prezzie and all.. ALL LIE. think i'm so naive to believe huh... u're all saying tat to make mi feel better. at least someone told mi tat she didnt have $ so she isnt buying mi gifts.. but i knoe in the end she wun buy even if she had $$. cos last yr she said she bought but didnt bring... all lies isnt it?? i should not elaborate wad dear did for mi. THIS YEAR IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY!

-laziness
i've grown lazy.. which means i might not even pass my O's! and prelims schedule are out. isn't it pathetic... if i faill........ i'm gonna say gdbye to early childhood course. i tell myself i mus study.. but it doesnt seem so...

-confide
i have no one to confide to.. and this brings me to my next point.... LOVE

LOVE
-dear
yup. he is so gonna be busy and all. yea. so i suggest we jus leave ea other to see if we're r3alli busy.. but i jus guess he doesnt knoe how to manage his time well. and he has no tolerance towards mi!!! lyk i cant throw tantrums lyk other girls. i'd get scolding!!!! and he's temper is real bad... and he doesnt realli understand mi. as in wad i want and all.. how can i even change him? sighs. i guess i'm jus making a full of myself.

THE END

ok, wilfred called last night. didnt call him bak. he's gonna give stupid excuse and all again.. lyk who cares?? if he wanna find mi he would call earlier and not 1am in the morning expecting mi to answer his calls.

i gave finished ranting.. maybe i should go off and do some reflection.. can someone enlighten me??