disintegrate

rate

hmm. i'm feeling better but still not well. my shit is in a charcoal colour. i think might be due to the charcoal medicine i'm taking. make me wake up in the middle of the night like some 2-3 times to pass motion. that is really sickening. and i thought i can like sleep in later. but the rags and bone man just have to come and do his business at 9am. this is so so so so so irritating. i dont know if i can even concentrate in class later. later still hafta work. and need to rush to church. hope i can make it on time. been a long while since i've gone to church.

yesterday i slept like 11pm. people who know me must be very surprised. and that calvin just have to sms me at 2am . some forward sms. and worse of all, it's in chinese!!! i mean, i would have read it slowly if i'm not asleep. but... oh well, forget it.

oh yea. before i slept. i reflect a little bit. about whats going on. what calvin said is true. and i always tell some other ppl the same thing. it takes 2 hands to clap. but the thing is, i must say i've stopped clapping. but the other party insist. what can i do? calvin said to ignore them. and i asked him back the same thing. and he said he wouldnt be happy. duh calvin! isnt it the same logic? and i realised those who retaliate from the other side, writes, or rather, types poor english. i have no idea with their speech. i'd better give them the benefit of an adult. cos, they arent behaving like one! so, yea.

i told sandy i've washed my hands off this matter. not because i have no guts. but i just feel that, this is going no where. but i told sandy to go ahead if she wants to. since the other party is so willing to fork out time and all to entertain us, maybe we should be polite to entertain them back. so, yea. and and and, you said you have like 6 or more people? oh well, i only see like, 1? oh well, thank for opening the fan club blog. she has no rights to poke into other people's business at the first place. don't talk about cruelty. talk about rights.

this whole thing, i've been complaining to kevin, pang, calvin, sandy, winson and fs.
sandy helped me the most tho, love ya sweets!
pang just laughed it off and told me her life is a fullstop. ask me to carry on without being bothered by her and let her life stop at this stage.
calvin... nothing to say. haha! tells me to change this change that. change le got wad use?
kevin also ask me to ignore. oh well, he has enough problem of his own.
winson seems to be busy when i'm not and free when i'm not. so, yea. difficult to talk to him.
fs fs fs is the best. hahahaha! no la. he actually understands!! and i think it's cos he's born a day before me so he understands me quite well. it's like, the answers he gives me is what i am thinking.

so, yea. i've got this few people to thank. and also, to many many many of Sandy's friends. thanks to you all very very very much. :)

beginning.

and yes. i seriously don't know why the hell are you digging my o level grades! i've passed it ok. HE dont know as much cos i didnt tell him much. so, ask HIM also no use. and yes, HE has a poor memory. i think only dumb people would believe what HE said. and another thing, i didnt become a childcare teacher 'cos of my poor grades. it's just my passion for kids. and yea, i nearly failed. so? i've friends who failed and is a childcare teacher too. so, what have you gotta say? you aint even holding a noble job and you're wasting tax payer's fees. so, what have you gotta say? you arent even contributing to the society. at least i've a chance to sit for my O's. what have you got? fail or pass also go to that institute. so so so? oh no. maybe you get to go there only if you pass. i don't know. and i don't ever wanna know. cos, it's just none of my business.

i know of childcare teachers who smokes. who take drugs. so? i've been taught by teachers who smokes. so? and he is in the discipline commitee. dont tell me none of your lecturer smokes? so, a teacher MUST be deprived of Gory stuffs huh? they cant appreciate them? oh, no no no no no. please stop sticking your mind to the 70's and 80's where teacher puts on thick glasses with thick books and a cane on their hands. state an example, see, most of the time you are cursing and swearing at other male species. are you gonna curse and swear at the man you're gonna live with for the rest of your pathetic life? this must be a very sad thing. the saddest thing i've known.

passion for teaching and passion for kids and passion for the job is different for my line. and, who you are outside and who you are inside is different. think about it. do some self-reflection at the end of the day. you tell me if you are what it takes to be you.

PERIOD.

oh well. let me update abit on saturday.

went to watch the fireworks with like yanzheng, yongkai, yishan and derek. calvin couldnt go cos he sprained his leg during badaminton. poor thing. teeheehee. sat at the wrong spot. was blocked by trees. haha. but i wouldnt say it's yishan's fault cos i told them to sit at the spot where we were cos we cant even walk to the front already. it's so packed

and thos hooligans that sat infront of us played with sparks. we are like so close to them and can you imagine the smoke and the smell. and worse, they were playing with food!!! darn them. buncha idiots.

after tat, we went to marina to meet yk's bro. haha! it's like they dont really look alike. haha! but i realise he and 2 of his bros has the same spects. so cool huh. haha! den reached woodlands at like 11.30pm.

oh yea. met benny at city link. i mean i bumped into him. while going back and i bumped into fel when i was heading towards the fireworks area. haha! benny took part in WCG and he got 2nd!!!! the CS section. so cool rightt!! and he's going back to aust like after his N's. and he gave me the wrong email add la!! i cant even add him on msn!!

and before the whole thing, went to buy present for cal and went to my grandma house. heh heh heh.

sunday

met cal yz and yk.. went to marina to eat steamboat. haha. bumped into flavian. haha! he looked different already! ahah. and saw peiwan and her sis too! haha. peiwan is still looking sweet as before. haha!

den we ate at the pingxian. haha. hmm. nothing much ba. den after that we went to the pasar malam beside causeway point. am gonna go there again. i wanna buy the crayon shinn disc!! ahha! den actually wanna come over to my hse to play poker. but yk saw his bro and went bak wif his bro. cal and yz got cheated. haha!

i came home yada yada yada.

so, yes. i am feeling so bored now. i dont feel like doing anithing. dont even feel like going to school. haha. i hafta sign 2 absent from class letter. so boreddddd. i think i better go off now. this is getting way too long.