disintegrate

rate

okie dokie. i am back. am here to type many things if my brain and time allows me to.

right now, i am totally screwed. the other time i had my science presentation and i actually edit-ed the copy that was in my email. however, i didnt save that copy. right now, the one i have is the older one. which means, i have to rake my brain and try to remember what i edit-ed the other day. and my memory is as bad. goodness gracious me!!!!!!

am now looking for some circle time activities. sighs! there's quite a number of games for me to choose from. which i already did choose. but i think i still might wanna bring the 2 thick resource books down for the other grp member of mine to see. hehe!

yday was such a drama. i actually went to church. and on Tuesday, i went to church as well. and guess what? the service on Tuesday and Wednesday is the same!! TOTALLY the same!!! except for the homily part. i'm like zzz! cause when i went in to church, the screen reads "All saints day". and i told my mum "eh mummy, not all souls day today meh? i thought yday is all saints day le?" she kept telling me that it was all souls day. so i keep on telling her it was all saints day. so we kinda keep on bickering. she even showed me the title with the date on the missal book! but the screen really reads "All saints day". so nevermind, we sat through the service. and tada! it was "all saints day". i mean, it isnt a waste of time. but ... ... ... ohhh. forget it.

one of the uncle saw us and he was like "aye? i thought i saw you yday? how come you are here again today?" then i went like "oh, my mother read the bulletin wrongly." and he went like "oh, haha. nevermind la!" i didnt say i mind tho. ha!! saw alot of my sunday class friend. like Joshua, Jude, Charlyn, Stephanie, Sharon and Samuel. haha! they all look the same.

and when i went to church yday, i am like a RARE SPECIES. cause i only go for chinese service and i dont stay in church VERY long. and they only recognise my Father, Mother and my second sister. so, actually, my eldest sis and i are RARE SPECIES. the kind whereby when everyone see me with my parents, they go like:-

oh, is this your daughter?
oh. this one is your youngest daughter? so big already ah!
oh wow patrick(my papa's name), you have three daughters??
oh. this is your second daughter?? oh. how old is she? (hello, i am the youngest one! just because they never see my eldest sis, they thought my second sis was the eldest.)
oh. you are patrick youngest daughter, what's your name?
oh. hi. i didnt see you in church before. i only see your second sis with daddy and mummy.

so, there you go. a SERIES of questions. okays, maybe not series. but it's enough to make me go like "DUH!" and when i go for english service, i hafta smile at everyone i see. because they know my parents. and it wouldnt be nice of me to sulk like a pig. ha! whatever it is, i think i prefer english service. but i still go for chinese service. WHY? cause not much entertainment. muahahahaha! seriously, i dont mind the entertainment part. but.. when it gets too much, it kinda you know... ... ...

yday on the train to school, Sharon (not the one mentioned above) was telling me that she saw a photo of our class taken when we had the module "child development". and that was like MONTHs back. it was when i just started course. haha! which is like.. March? and she said that everyone's face went sharper. which means, we all looked more thinner. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! just the right word i wanna hear. wahahahahahaha! *get hold of yourself, angela* so, yea. heh. when i went to church yday, there's one grandma whom have not seen me for oh-so-long. when she saw me, she asked my mum the usual question." this daughter is your second one or last one?" "oh. so big already. how old is she?" "what is she doing now?" "oh. now she so miao tiao(slim)" WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. i feel good! i know many people who see me often will go like "whatever" but i am happy okays. and for sure, Calvin will flame me when he sees me. ha!

so. i did say i went for an interview? yes i did. and i got the job, it's at Pasir Panjang. when kai heard about it, he was so sarcastic!! he said "bless the children." "i pity the kids." ni nia eh. grrr. GXX first thing is he said"i am sure there is pay increment right?" very obvious hint there. haha! alex and pang both said it's very far. but oh well.. when alex said far, i'm like "at least it's along west side. the one i was working at is at town." but that was before i went for the interview. after i came back from interview, i talked to pang and pang said it was far. and he asked me how am i going to get there. i told him that i would find a man at the west side and marry him. hahahahaha!

i dunno what's wrong with me lately. i am very thrilled when i see pregnant ladies. haha! the other day 2 pregnant ladies were talking about their pregnancy. hahaha! i was listening. like a kaypo. hahahahaha! and i think i was obvious. wahahahahahahaha!!!!! cause the lady kept looking at me. hehehe! the other day FS was asking about the marriage thing over MSN. and i think i copy and paste the conversation down. hmm..

i wanna get married early. of course there are better man outside which i might not get to know cause i marry early. and if when i get older and get to know the outside world better, i might not agree that my husband is the chosen one. i know it seems selfish. especially when i have kids. okays. it's on a long term basis here. so, yea. it will be selfish to the kids but i am sure i'll bring the kids up myself. maybe it's too big a commitment to make now? i dont know. what i say now might not be what i'd do if i am in that situation. but having to start a family. just the two of you. you and your spouse. slowly, gradually, you have kids. and the next moment, your child is able to crawl, walk, run, talk, pee, poo, sing. everything and everything. the satisfaction you get is like so heartwarming you know. sighs. i really like kids to be happy.

but... if the parents fall into seperation.. the kids suffer the most i guess. so, hmm... i wanna get married to satisfact my desire of like having a family and all. but i think ultimately, the real goal is to have a happy family. so, marry late? but you wont know until you try... right?

it's so contradicting. i really think it is. like you see, you like a guy. and the guy doesnt like you. and the guy likes another girl. and another girl doesnt like him. it's like a cycle. you are having feelings for someone who doesnt have feelings for you. what should you do? i always thought that one should think about what is done. i dont know if it is right to just pick someone who likes you more than you like that person. just like if someone likes u, den just accept him/her. egoistically, yes. it's right to do that. but if you really think deep, will it be right? i dont know.

the other day i mentioned that i friendster message someone right? and i got the reply in this person's blog. and when i told danting, she was quite shocked. she was like why must the reply be in the blog? does that person want the whole world to know? at the same time, i knew she would react like that. because my reaction was like that as well. however, i have chosen to do what i did. acceptance or rejection, take it gracefully. i do not know what will happen tomorrow. and i do not know if at the end we'd be together. but at least i did my part in telling that person what and how i felt. right? when i told pang about it, he told me many logic la. now i know why he always looks on the bright side. ha! oh well. now, i shall just concentrate on my work. whatever comes, i'll just accept it. but of course, i'm still waiting for a positive reply. and i know it's silly. i knew the answer wouldnt be positive. back to the same logic, at least i tried.

oh wells. not bad. i took about half an hour to type this post. ha!