disintegrate

rate

haha. i suddenly have the urge to laugh at myself. when i first knew it, i thought i'd be agitated. but i wasn't. maybe i should feel a tinge of sadness, jealousy, anger and all the negative stuffs adding together. but, i actually feel happy for them. haha! maybe cos I've grown up? or perhaps.. at least i know someone who is really happy.. to be with their loved one. i don't know. looking back at how it was, i find it a joke. like what i said and what i did and all. it's really the past. really, really the past.

looking at the end captions at the bottom, it was somehow like me. haha. i guess, everyone have been through that stage. to me, it's like... letting someone know indirectly. like sort of attracting attention. i mean, to me la. haha. yea. i cant believe i am admitting it now. but, the more you think, the badder it is. if you leave it neutral, its very hard to not dissolve it. for me, I'd keep on talking about it. until i am sick of it, i get over with it. provided i complain a whole load.

tomorrow is V day. no date? of course not. haha! suppose to watch movie. but YK has work so the whole thing was canceled. was actually quite looking forward. but nah. i think not. this few days have been returning home really very late. and i am lacking of sleep. later gonna meet Mylo again. i hope he don't have any last minute recall. it really dampens my mood. i don't know who am i to him and i don't wanna know either. i mean. i wanna know yet i don't wanna know. i don't know how to explain this but if you've been there, you'd know. it's like afraid of loosing. ever since the other time, i really panicked. moshi did tell me that he thinks i am crazy for him. but... maybe... not yet. i don't know. I'm treating it more like a fling thing. but at the same time, i don't wanna be hanging loose. yea. oh well. the road will path out i guess.

i think i am fortunate enough. i have a great job, great family, great friends. and i have what i need. i don't need to worry about many things. be grateful for what you have is what they will say. and i think it's true too.

tomorrow is cookery class for my kids and we're making pineapple tarts. i cant wait!! hehehehe! and!! i gotta report to work earlier. it's kinda sucky. but for the kids, it's alright!! really hope they have fun. it's approaching a new year in the lunar calender. i still need to get the pumps and 1 top from topshop. hehe. i CANT wait for my pay.

teeheehee!!