disintegrate

rate

how does it feel to think back the past?

dreamt of a secondary school friend the other day. someone whom I've lost contact with. that dream was pretty weird. I actually moved out to stay on my own. that place I stay in is pretty nice. Café here and there. it even has MacDonald's! and so i bump into him when i was on my way home. we just brush by each other. very dramatic i know... but, i guess we're both delighted we saw each other! we went to Mac's to have a drink. suddenly he fainted. and between 2 places, 2 people fainted. and both their face begun to exchange. i don't know how. but it just did. too dramatic. but, i guess it's a nice dream. how many times would you dream of your friend? or rather, how many times would your friend dream of you? they say that what you think in the day will come in your dreams at night. i think it's so true.

very fast, 6th Aug will come and i will be going for my Diploma. was talking to my mum and I realise that i will miss the TV show. Gao Xiao Zhi Zhun or something. the one on CH8 at 8pm. speaking of which, it was better known as Gao Xiao Xing Dong the last time. and i will always be reminded that i have this Malay friend during my Primary school days and both of us were very very close friend. she likes Chinese shows alot and asked me what does Gao Xiao Xing Dong means. being immature and not so good in Chinese, i told her it means born to make you happy. it was a totally different translation. after she knew the translation, she began to sing "born to make you happy" by Britney Spears. now when i think back, i wish i could tell her what Gao Xiao Xing Dong really meant!

sent a letter to her many years ago. but it never came back. when i pass by her house, seems that she has moved again. 2 years of friendship. long or short? i don't know. just how many friends will you have when you die? are they just acquaintances or buddies? you don't need to have many buddies but i guess you wouldn't mind having many acquaintances.

having to start my diploma really soon, i guess i wont have much time for my family. much more my friends. sometimes i wish i didn't have lessons to go for. but i think its pretty not possible. who wont want to improve themselves? slogging for a year odd now, it makes me not 18years old. was reviewing the group of friends i have... my own friends and friends I've known outside are so different. the open-ness is different. i am not talking about sexual issues here but they way they perceive things. very different. or maybe they would think that there's no need to perceive things at a higher level when they talk to me. maybe so.. not like i talk very profound things when I'm with them. fruit for thought...

today has got me thinking. the whole day home. doing nothing and yet time passes so fast. oh wells~

went for a drink yesterday. i think we had half a bottle of peach vodka left from my birthday. as usual, came home, shower, he came and we left in his car. peach vodka wasn't really nice. still prefer the one without flavour. but thanks for the vodka, Ting! and so, while drinking, he spoke, i spoke, we talked. nothing much. work. friends. life. what's left? who am i to him? who is he to me? i dont know. really. friend? acquaintance? buddy? sometimes not knowing everything is better. not everything can be known. there's always a fine line to what we can and what we cant know. just leave it as it is.

am just emo-ing. the above are pretty much crap when i think when i emo. you've actually wasted alot of your time reading it.

bye!