disintegrate

rate

woo. in the end i went out. hehe. Emily had tickets to jolin's J1 concert. yea!!! actually, i am not mad over her. yea. her concert is wad i cor normal onli lorhs. not veri special. nobody wanna comply to her i guess. lyk she ask ppl sing. i think onli downstairs those ppl sing. stand oso they stand. scream oso they scream. the block we were seated at is so damn quiet. bcos they were all middle aged uncles and aunties. there's karaoke session oso. her old songs. rather nice yea. haha. first tym i attend this kinda concert. quite an experience. we went home b4 it stop. cos it'd be very late and there would be no transport back. den when at Bishan, Emily's mom offered to send mi home too. i didnt wan. abit paiseh oso lorhs. so dear called, he tok to mi until i reach home. cos incase something happen, he will cor home. haha. so, nothing bad will happen. hehes. anyway, something stupid happened. so paiseh for mi to say out. haha. actually took bus 11 bak to bus terminal. i saw the bus stop le. den the uncle lyk going straight. so i scared. i faster press bell. hahahha! u knoe wad? the stupid bus went in the terminal. omg. so embarrass. i think no one knew. haha. it had better be no one except for mi and emily. or else, SO PAISEH OK! yea. Emily's secret known. maybe it's not a secret among mani. but yea. not elaborating. ((:

hmm. maybe i said something sensitive to dear? yea. den cry again. cried for more than half an hour. he hang up le i cry even worser. den went to bed still crying. i think cry for an hr ba. den cry to slp. yea. it was rather horrifying. didnt see myself cry this long b4. i couldnt cry aloud. cos everyone were slping oreadi. it's 12+ i kept sniffing and sniffing. very hard. thinking abt everything. yups. mani things infact. lyk wad happened to mi. sighs. i sometyms vent my anger on him. took him for granted. treat him cold. and everything. i guess he shouting at mi is nothing compared to his tolerance lorhs. y cant i be lyk other ppl.. see them so loving and all. actually i realli duno y i cry. but i jus started crying and crying. and think all this things. i guess i am suffering from depression. i nid to go to IMH. LOLs.

CO TML!!! omg. i am so freaking scared. u knoe, i had a dream jus now. wah lau. damn paiseh lorhs please. it's not tat i spoke in muah dreams or wadever. jus tat hors. ok. tat bunny said tat if tml we big grp CO cannot make it, friday we hafta go bak. so, all those teachers were there. den my tcher. i mean the zhongruan one. not the guzhen one. she ask if i will play wrongly. i said yea. den she say u better not play wrongly. i will be looking at u. wtf`. den hor. i was setting up my gu zhen alone. sort lyk no one help mi larhs. so, i was slow. den when they start le, i haven even put on my finger nails!! omg. i am soooo scared. den i didnt play. wah laus. soooo freaking scared. and everybody look at mi. sort of paiseh oso. den i woke up. lols. it's a stupid dream actually. i dreamt alort. so to say.

i onli had chicken rice yesterday. and i survived until now. later duno got appetite to eat or not. i realli dun eat much this few days lorhs.

and hors. erm. i meet emily go concert yesterday. she slim abit le. and erms. see her keep pushing her ears oso abit xin sui. lyk so pain lorhs. den cannot enjoy everything. and i still keep toking to her, sighs.

will you be there whenever I needed you?